The Five Face Challenge Part 2

So, you'll know if you've read Part 1 that I've been tagged in The Five Face Challenge by Lou from Lou Loves Beauty. I had it all planned until I had a small accident with some vodka and a styling wand....

Being the trooper I am, I've changed my products here's the final result.

The rules for The Five Face Challenge are as follows:

1. Use five and only five products to create a complete makeup look.

2. Each product counts as 1 product (multi-purpose products count as 1 product such as Benetint, Bombshell the One Stick, Nars Multiple Stick).

3. No pallettes are allowed. No trios, quads or multi-shade pallettes.

4. Tag five others to complete the Five Face Challenge.

5. Have fun!

Product 1

Surprisingly enough I started with concealer. My concealer is from the B. range at Superdrug, I've been using this for a while and I find it does the job when I've had too many late nights. It's also very reasonably priced which always a bonus.

Product 2

Then onto foundation. I don't use foundation very much, my skin is a bit sensitive and too much product upsets it but when I do need more coverage I use Instant Light Complexion Perfector from Clarins. I stumbled across this thanks to a very good sales lady at my local Debenhams. It's not the cheapest in the world but it's the best I've ever used.

Product 3

Time for the eyes and my go to for normal everyday makeup is always my trusty brown eyeliner. As you can see, mine is a bit battered! I've repurchased this a few times from Rimmel, I love the colour on me and I use it as eyeliner on my top lid and occasionally if I'm feeling brave I'll use to it to define my eyebrows.

Product 4

I'm a sucker for a mascara but Maybelline Big Eyes is by far my favourite at the moment. I've got stumpy eyelashes and this mascara is brilliant for length, being waterproof it also means that it stays on the eyelashes rather than under them. It also has a separate applicator for upper and lower lashes which quite frankly is a revelation!

And the result: 

Product 5

 

Last and by no means least, I'm back Maybelline for my lips. I've been using their Superstay 24 hour lip colour for a few months and I'm a bit partial to the Forever Heather colour. It does have good staying power, no idea if it lasts 24 hours but it'll last me a working day. 

And the finished look is:

And yes there were many photos taken before this one.

Including this one:

I may have got a little bored....

Now to the nominations...

1. Lauren from Keep Calm It's Only A Blog

2. Simone from Thirty Something OAP

3. Kim from Whimsical Mrs W

4. Petra from Pieternella

5. Kristen from Every Beauty Talks

If you do accept the challenge tweet me your posts to @rantingsoflard so I can see them!

So there you have it, my first makeup post and it wasn't that bad afterall. 

Thanks for reading

Lard

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The Five Face Challenge Part 1

Oh no, I've been tagged in a make up challenge.....

Now, regular readers will notice I've never mentioned makeup before, I do use makeup (more now I'm in my mid early thirties) but I wasn't sure I could give a makeup post justice - there are some cracking beauty blogs out there. And then my lovely friend Lou from Lou Loves Beauty tagged me in the Five Face Challenge.

I'll be honest, at first I thought that if I ignored it, then it would go away. Lou clearly knows me far too well and soon enough, a tweet appeared "I've tagged you in a post, have you seen it?". Yes yes I've bloody seen it.....after much cajoling I said I would do it. I've got a week off coming up, I'll do it then cos I'll have the time to take 400 photos of myself only to publish 2.

So my week off arrives, I'm trying to cram a lot of stuff in. I need to see my mum, friends that I haven't see for ages, go out Bank Holiday Sunday (it's the law), do some studying, get some blog posts done (this isn't the only tag I need to do) and all this is culminating with a trip to my hairdresser and friend Lou on Friday afternoon. the more I thought about it, the more I thought - I can do a makeup post, I can open up my makeup bag for scrunity, I'd even decided products I was going to use. And then this happened:

I refer you back to my to do list for the week. Remember how one of the things was to go out Bank Holiday Sunday? Let me make a recommendation, don't use a styling wand when you have had an alcoholic drink. Or indeed several drinks. I swear it only touched my skin for a half a second but this is what my forehead looked like this morning 3 days later.

Needless to say, my list of products has changed....

It's Wednesday today (just about), tomorrow I need to study! Which leaves Friday morning to get this done before I go and see Lou. I feel like I should make the effort to get this done before then.

Time is running out, I need to study tomorrow, I have to go shopping Friday before seeing Lou (by have to go shopping, what I mean is that it's payday), I can't stop picking the scab on my forehead, will 5 products be enough to cover it? will I get it done on time? Who knows?

To be continued....

Thanks for reading

Lard

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Manners!

The other day after some furious beeping I decided to treat the car to some petrol. The first petrol station on my route was Tescos so in I went. After squeezing my way past people who couldn't decide what queue they wanted to be in, I filled up Fenton (yes my car has a name) and went into the shop.

When it's my turn to be served the lady behind the counter stares at me until I walk over.

"Hi, pump 4 please" I even manage a smile.

She did not smile.
She didn't even look at me.

"So, I tried this and I tried that and it still didn't work. That's £50."

Oh so not only do I not get a greeting but you're so busy chatting away to your work mate that you appear to have forgotten the word please.

Fabulous.

Card goes in the machine, pin goes in, card comes out. Meanwhile she's still blethering away to her mate and has barely looked at me.

She hands me my receipt and the damage is done so I don't say thanks, I just walk off.

"Thank you. Yeah THANK YOU!"

Now it should be said at this point that I did not wake up in the best of moods. The numpties that couldn't pick a queue and now little miss rude did not help.

"Hang on a minute, you spend the whole of my transaction speaking to your mate with no manners whatsoever and now you want a thank you from me? Er no actually. No. Not for you."

It was worth it just for the look on her face.

I don't ask for much - please, thank you and a smile if you can manage it. I've worked in retail, I know it's not easy to be happy and smiley all the time but don't have a go at me for a not saying thank you when you don't have please or thank you in your head. And if you're serving, don't have a full blown conversation with your mate - that's just rude!

Thanks for reading.
Lard
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Photo Post

This is my third photo post, I'm thinking that I'm going to do them once a month. You can find the other two here and here.

April brought Easter and it turns out I'm not too old for an Easter egg - thanks Mum!

 Easter also meant a few Good Friday drinks with Lou from Lou Loves Beauty go take a look at her blog, it's fab

These are from one of my favourite views near where I live

And this month's photo post starts with chocolate and ends with cake! And yes it did taste as good as it looks!

Thanks for reading

Lard

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Trains, Mobiles and the Not So Bright

As I may have mentioned already, for at least 3 days of the week I get the train to work and have done for the last 2 years. An hour journey to work does not fill me with joy (my previous commute was 5 minutes) but needs must and I counteract the misery by having a my ear phones in, reading, tapping out the occasional blog post and generally looking unsociable. If your really lucky, occasionally I'll have a little sleep.

Now the line I travel on is not inhabited by the newest of trains. They're loud, rickety and old. Air conditioning is unheard of and the heating harks back to a bygone age. I don't know how the heating is controlled but I'm pretty sure it only has 2 settings - on and off. You'd think this would correspond to the weather outside but I generally find that this is not the case. If it's zero degrees outside, heating is off. Today it's 10 degrees celsius outside,  heating is on full blast. I'm known for being warm blooded but I know that I'm not the only one feeling the heat this morning because half the windows are open.

So to recap, the train is old, loud and hot so the windows are open to try and get some air in which in turn makes things louder.

So why oh why would you try and have a phone conversation with someone?? My stop is the beginning of the line so I'm lucky enough to have my pick of seats in the morning, so I took a pew today,  ear phones in, Kindle at the ready.

Now because I'm nice, I have my music at a level where I can hear it but the rest of the carriage can't. This means I can still hear the noise of the train but it's no massive hardship and I try not piss people off intentionally.

But then it begins....

"HELLO? HI! YEAH JUST ON MY WAY TO WORK SO I THOUGHT I'D RING FOR A CHAT"

Well that's annoying, I can hear the train and you above my music because you are actually shouting into your phone. Maybe you'll get off at the first stop.

"HI YAR. JUST SEEN THE FIGURES, YEAH, YEAH. JUST ON THE TRAIN. THOUGHT I'D GET ON THE PHONE AND SHOW EVERYONE HOW IMPORTANT I AM"

(I may made that last bit up but you get the picture.)

Oh for fucks sake we've only just left the station and now there's two of you at it!

"MATE! YES MATE, ON MY WAY DAAAN LONDON INNIT"

Seriously? 3 of you? In the same bloody carriage? Come on!

I don't get it, why do you think sitting on a train shouting at your phone is socially acceptable? Some of us (me) don't need all that noise first thing in the morning! Oh and you're really not that important.

I give in, I'm off to the next carriage.

If you saw a stroppy looking woman stomping down the train today with a face like thunder it may have been me. I promise I'm friendlier on the way home!

Thanks for reading.
Lard
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Another Internet Dating Story....

Hi everyone,

Sorry it's been a few days since I posted, life has got in the way a bit but I'm back and I bring humour!

My last post on the joys of internet dating went well (you can meet Dave here) so I thought I would share another story.

So, it's a random weekday evening and I've got one eye on the TV and one eye on the laptop. There's a ping from the laptop, somebody wants to be part of my contacts.

A quick aside, on this particular website, people request to be part of your contacts and if you say yes they are then able to IM you.

So a quick look at the profile, age - fine, height - fine (I like tall men), photo - fine, location - bit far away for my liking but again I remember being told off for being too picky. So I click yes and he becomes part of my contacts.

We shall call him..............Dave 2.

So straight away the hi how are you conversation starts and then of course my favourite questions.....

What are you looking for?

Cue Marge Simpson growl.

However, on this occasion I don't get a to answer because it's all about Dave 2.

Dave 2 goes on to tell me that he's not looking for a girlfriend and he's not looking for a date. He looking for an audience.

Huh???

Oh Dave 2, please explain.

So he does.

Dave 2 like to pleasure himself and Dave 2 likes an audience while he's doing it. Apparently the number of people of watching is not really a concern, it could be 1 or it could be 10 but he really likes to be watched.

Would you like to watch?

Well Dave 2, we only started chatting 10 minutes ago.

You wouldn't be the first.

Well THAT'S a relief!!

And you wouldn't have to be naked.

OK......

I just want you to watch, not touch.

Dave 2, I'm not sure you're doing much for my ego here.

I could pay you. I've paid for an audience before.

And that's my ego completely trampled.

So let me gets this straight, you've singled me out on this dating website (note the word dating and not fetish) because I look like the girl who likes to sit there and watch you wank.

So is that a no then?

Not so much a no, more of a piss off and bother someone else.

Do you think any of your mates would be up for it?

Ha ha ha ha ha! No Dave 2, I am not pimping you out to my mates!

Needless to say, Dave 2 was another one that did not make it to the date stage but I suppose he was good enough to provide me with a good story!

Thanks for reading
Lard
x

Photo Post

My first photo post went well so here's another one for you.

In March I escaped to Lanzarote for a week.

While we there it was St Patrick's Day and as I'm from Irish stock it would be rude not to celebrate

And this was the morning after - cracking Irish breakfast.

And then home sweet home, the view from my living room

Getting ready for Purple Day 2014

Thanks for reading

Lard

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