I came across this post the other day via @ThePoke and it made me think. There are a whole lot of awful profiles on dating websites and I thought I'm sure I could make a similar list although maybe not 100 of them.
So without further ado and in no particular order:
Don't contact me if...
- You are a racist.
- You have ever voted UKIP.
- You read the Daily Mail.
- Your message only consists of the word "Hi".
- Your message only consists of the words "You look nice we meet yes?".
- You're shorter than me. My profile specifies that I like tall men. It also specifies my height. I am not tall.
- You just want to have a go at me for not dating someone shorter than me.
- You don't fancy fat girls. I get I'm not everybody's cup of tea. Neither are you, otherwise we wouldn't be on a dating site.
- You use text speak.
- You don't know the difference between there, their and they're.
- You don't know the difference between your and you're.
- Your profile picture is you in a mirror with a mobile phone.
- Your profile has photos of your kids.
- You live in a different country, that's way too long distance for me.
- You're a massive jazz fan (the music, not the mags).
- You do not have basic manners.
- You think the world owes you a living.
- Your profile says "we'll tell people we met in a pub".
- Your Facebook profile of full of inspirational quotes.
What would you add to this list? Comment below or find me on the twitters @rantingsoflard
Thanks for reading
Lard
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Lard
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This made me laugh. I have a long-term boyfriend so don't do online dating but if I did...a list like this would be very handy! It kind of works like a self-selection tool - or so you'd hope. Top of my 'don't contact me if...' list would be 'you have rotting teeth'. Yuk!
ReplyDeleteHow did I forget manky teeth!
DeleteHaha this really made me laugh! I'd have to add
ReplyDelete- If you message me saying 'Hi' followed by a dick pic 2 seconds later.
-If you think tribal tattoos are cool
Good luck on your quest for love!
Hayley-Eszti
www.hayleyeszti.blogspot.com
Ah the tribal tattoo that means nothing, right up there with the barb wire tattoo that doesn't go all around the arm!
Delete- You are a racist. NOPE
ReplyDelete- You have ever voted UKIP. NOPE
- You read the Daily Mail. ONLY ONLINE WHEN I GET SENT A LINK
- Your message only consists of the word "Hi". HELLO
- Your message only consists of the words "You look nice we meet yes?". I THINK I CAN DO BETTER
- You're shorter than me. My profile specifies that I like tall men. It also specifies my height. I am not tall. 6 FOOT OK
- You just want to have a go at me for not dating someone shorter than me. NOPE
- You don't fancy fat girls. I get I'm not everybody's cup of tea. Neither are you, otherwise we wouldn't be on a dating site. MORE TO CUDDLE
- You use text speak. LOL Oh Crap
- You don't know the difference between there, their and they're. IM GETTING BETTER
- You don't know the difference between your and you're. SEE ABOVE
- Your profile picture is you in a mirror with a mobile phone. NO I HAVE SELF TIMERS
- Your profile has photos of your kids. I DO NOT HAVE KIDS
- You live in a different country, that's way too long distance for me. LUTON
- You're a massive jazz fan (the music, not the mags). JAZZ FLUTE?
- You do not have basic manners. AFTER YOU
- You think the world owes you a living. I WORK HARD
- Your profile says "we'll tell people we met in a pub". UMMM I DON'T LIE
- Your Facebook profile of full of inspirational quotes. TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Still not bad only a couple of them. Will this rule me out?