You're Not Alone

I've struggled a bit for blog ideas just recently so I had a chat with my mate Google and one of the ideas was when was the last time you cried?

This is not going to be my most cheerful post.

It was last week after watching Murdered By My Boyfriend which I recorded recently from BBC3. I'd seen it advertised but not read much about it, only that it was based on a true story.

I was going to tell you the plot but it's snapily summed up here. I'm not afraid to say that by the end of the programme I was crying my eyes out.

I've never personally been the victim of domestic abuser but I know enough people that have. That fact alone pisses me off because I shouldn't know a list of people who have been victims, it should not be so prevalent but it is.

I'm sure most of you have heard the statistic that on average 2 women a week are killed as a result of domestic violence. 

2 women a WEEK.

It's easy to say, "I'd never stay with someone like that" or "I'd be out the door the minute they laid a hand on me". It's easy to say that when you've not been in those shoes, it's easy to say when your self esteem has not been ground to nothing.

It's not just about physical violence, domestic abuse can be physical, mental and emotional. One minute, you're having a tiff about how drunk you were on a night out but over a period of time it soon escalates.

You're questioned about every drink - 

"How much did you drink? "
"Who bought you a drink"

Every night out -
"Where did you go?"
"Who did you go with?"
"Who did you talk to?"

Every item of clothing
"Why are you wearing that?"
"You look like a slut."
"You're to ugly to wear that."
"You're too fat"

Soon enough it's easier to stay in and to not see your friends, it's not worth the hassle of the Spanish inquisition when you get home, not worth the accusations that because you've been out of their sight for a couple of hours that you've been out shagging all and sundry, that you can't be trusted.

I've seen how easily someone's self esteem can be completely destroyed, seen how they didn't see it as domestic abuse because their partner didn't hit them.

Nobody should have to live like that, being in a loving relationship is not about being controlled by someone.

You're not alone.
There is help out there:

www.womensaid.org.uk

www.mankind.org.uk

www.refuge.org.uk

Thanks for reading

Lard
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