A Tale of Two Audi Drivers

Last week I was out in the car for a couple of days for work which is always nice for giving me a day off from scowling at people at the train station in the morning.

Now I have a question, what is it about some people that the minute they get into their Audi, they can't help driving like a twat?

Audi driver number 1.

I'm on the A14, for those not in the know, it's a bloody awful road, always busy and rarely without some sort of delay. It's also one of the main routes to Felixstowe Docks so you're more than likely to come across a whole load of lorries.

So here I am in lane 2 merrily overtaking a load of lorries. The old dear in front of me only wants to do 60mph while overtaking which while is a pain in the arse, there's nowt I can do about it, so overtaking at 60 it is.

But then, who is that in my rear view mirror? It's Audi driver number 1!

He clearly does not want drive at 60 and decides that the only way to try and change this is to drive right up my backside.

Fuck. Off.

How is nearly driving in to the back of someone supposed to make them go faster?? If you drive up my arse all you're going to is make me slow down to make a bigger gap in front of me.

Audi driver number 1: You are a prize knob.

Audi driver number 2

About half an hour later, I'm 20 minutes from home and thinking about my sofa. I pull up to a roundabout and have a quick look in the rear view mirror.

Step up Audi driver number 2.

The reason it grabbed my attention is because it was so shiny and clean! Incidentally, my car looks like it's inhabited by a tramp.

Driving the car is young lady jabbering away on her mobile.

Now people talking on their mobiles while driving annoys me as it is and I can't help but think that surely a 3 year old Audi has bluetooth?

But then I notice the small child in the seat next to her. When I say small, I mean no more than a year old. Aside from me being a bit uncomfortable about such a small child in the front seat of the car, my overriding thought is GET OFF THE BLOODY PHONE!!

Now obviously in the queue for a roundabout we're not going at any great speed but she was distracted enough not to notice when the traffic moved.

Audi driver number 2: Pull over or put the phone down.

Rant over.

Thanks for reading
Lard
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